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Tinder Loving Care – A Female’s Perspective

26 Sep

tinder crazy

I’ve done my research, gone on a few Tinder dates, met some pretty normal people, but have decided I’m over it and have since deleted this app. So -here are my parting words about the ever-popular Tinder application:

 

First, let’s clear up what Tinder is not:

1. A legit dating site/application – For the most part, you’re matching someone based on whether you might like to get naked with that person, or at least make out and dry hump. You can say it’s because you have a whopping seven interests in common (including “sleeping” and maybe one obscure band you both enjoy) – but the reality is that you probably didn’t even scroll through all of their pictures or even check your common interests before you right swiped.


getweird

2. A real social networking site – Sure you can instant message your matches, see what common interests you’ve both listed on your Facebook profile, and view a couple of the photos they’ve chosen to represent themselves (and never trust a profile with only one picture), but that’s pretty much the extent of “social networking” on Tinder.

Now, what Tinder really is:

1. A shallow and pretty superficial hook-up app – You probably aren’t going to find “the one” on Tinder, but you might get a good lay out of it. Although, for the record, I haven’t slept with anyone I’ve met from Tinder.

hookup

2. If you are a female, a Tinder meet-up is a pretty good bet for free drinks – and probably dinner if you play your cards right.

3. A sure-fire way to cure a case of boredom. That repetitive swiping motion gets kind of addictive after a while.

4. A way to meet some attractive people around your age that live in your city.

 

 

The Rules of Tinder:

1. If you are 40+, get the fuck off Tinder. Please?

2. DO NOT post every picture as a selfie-duck-face-bathroom-mirror-pic. Nobody thinks that shit is cute after high school.

selfie

3. Don’t drink and Tinder… or should you only drink and Tinder?

4. Don’t trust the chest-up pictures. They are hiding something. And not only are they hiding something, they are insecure about it too. If you’re 100 pounds overweight or have an amputated right foot – own it, don’t crop it.

5. Whoever you’re going out with, don’t forget – they’re chatting, meeting, and probably hooking up with lots of other people – maybe even some you know. Don’t get butt hurt if it doesn’t work out or they don’t like you. There are plenty of other (Tinder) fish in the sea.

kstewreally

 

 

Those awkward Tinder moments… and how to deal with them:

1. When you come across the profile of an ex, an ex’s best friend, a best friend’s ex, a best friend’s current boyfriend or girlfriend, or the most fun – YOUR current boyfriend or girlfriend (and probably soon to be ex).

  • Just swipe left and keep your mouth shut. I know the urge to right-swipe seems irresistible, even if just out of curiosity if they suck enough to match you, but just don’t do it. Nothing good is going to come of it. Unless you enjoy stupid drama.

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UNLESS

  • It’s YOUR girlfriend or boyfriend. Right Swipe. And screenshot that shit first. Gotcha, Bitch! That’s going to make for an interesting (and probably last) dinner conversation later.

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2. The match with someone you knew from high school that you right-swiped because you know who they are and are curious if they remember you – and then they don’t.

  • Right swipe if you want, but don’t get upset if they don’t match you or if they do and don’t remember you. Maybe you have a better memory than most… Or maybe you just weren’t as popular as you thought you were in high school.

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— Either way – it’s been 10 years since high school, nobody cares.

3. When you and your best friend match the same guy. Especially when you and your bestie are in each other’s profile pictures?

  • Block him. Both of you.

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OR

  • If he’s a chiseled god with great hair, has a boat, and a couple pictures with his dog… Rock, paper, scissors or flip a coin.

4. If you’re in your 20s, and the city you live in is also your hometown, like it is for me – prepare for lots of the above mentioned awkward Tinder moments.

 

 

So, what’s the Tinder Takeaway? It’s a great app if you’re single, or newly single, bored, want some attention, want to go out for dinner and/or drinks, and maybe have some casual sex.

But, as my best friend and I sat around on the couch talking about life the other day, we came to the conclusion that if you just put your fucking phone down for 5 minutes – you’d be surprised at the people you meet in real life, the beauty of the world around you, and the things you get done that you wouldn’t while your face is glued to the screen of your stupid fucking smartphone.

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“I think that I may be the voice of my generation…”

1 Feb

“…or at least a voice. of a generation.”

I’m sorry, I can’t stop quoting HBO’s GIRLS. I am just so tickled by half of the lines in the script I can’t help but regurgitate them on a regular basis. Anyway, I know I’m probably not the voice of my generation, but I did come across something the other day on South Congress that was so positive, inspiring and hopeful, yet so basic.

inspiresign

A hand-crafted flyer taped on the handrail along South Congress that read “LOVE (take as much as you need) STR8 :)” with a line of tear-away slips of paper that read “Love.” So simple and unassuming, yet bold and powerful nonetheless. A hand-written sign and a voice all the same.

I was so touched by this small act of kindness! It really did lift the spirits of myself and my lunch company. I figured that since Libby and I took some love that afternoon on SOCO, I could take 10 minutes and make my own “Love” flyer to put up somewhere around town and spread some love and positivity to unsuspecting passerbys. Who knows, maybe my love could brighten someone else’s day like it did mine.

lovegreen  signs

I made a few, and stored them in my car for when I stumbled upon the perfect spot to spread some love. I met my good friend Sarah at Austin High to run the loop on Tuesday and decided this would be as good a place as any. I found a handrail near the Mopac bridge and taped my own love flyer for joggers, bikers, dog walkers, friends, lovers, moms and dads, kids and everyone in between to enjoy.

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Arts and Crafts Tuesday! (Jan. 8, 2013)

14 Jan

Wow, I have been slacking. Shamefully so! So here’s a re-cap of the past week. Tuesday, January 8 (Elvis’ birthday btw, thanks years of working at Chuy’s for that useless trivia forever stored in my brain) I dedicated to organizing and simplifying the new day-to-day responsibilities of a family fighting cancer. So seeing as cancer is a complete drag, I figured this was an opportunity to take pleasure in the little things and in this case it was a trip to Hobby Lobby and an afternoon of crafting.

The most important things on the agenda were improving the system for documenting Abha’s meds and treatment related notes and creating a way to track her daily liquid intake. So after a few clicks around my favorite website, Pinterest, I found an idea for a medicine chart that inspired me into creating a “care binder” and a to-do list I modified to be a liquid-intake… tracker? That’s a working title.

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Hobby Lobby was fraught with bright colors, glitter and shine, arts and crafts, semi-useless gadgets and lots of tacky decor… Heaven? Close enough.

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Lee made a guest appearance and joined me on my crafty splurge and as per usual, we enjoyed our surroundings thoroughly.

Leehobby

So after that eventful shopping trip, I went home to spend the afternoon drawing, cutting, gluing, laminating, hole-punching, etc. The first project was a cutesy water pitcher magnet with individual water glass magnets that Velcro to the pitcher as well as stick to the fridge. I used a foam board and drew a water pitcher that I cut out and outlined with a Sharpie. I stuck a few craft magnets on the back and eight Velcro-stratchy pieces (of the two kinds) on the front of the pitcher. Then, I cut out eight identical water-glasses on blue card stock and also outlined those with a Sharpie and wrote “8 oz.” on the front. I laminated these and stuck the other side of the Velcro piece on the back of each glass, along with a small craft magnet. Ta – Da! What a cute and easy way for everyone to keep track of Abha’s daily liquid intake.

liquid

The docs recommend she drink 64 oz. of “acceptable” liquids (no caffeine – sodas, tea, coffee, etc.) every day. It’s hard enough for me to keep track of what I’ve been drinking all day, let alone what someone else has been drinking. That being said, I didn’t want to leave it to Abha, who sometimes exists in a dopey stupor for periods of the day. Speaking of, we had a good laugh while constructing this when Abha put the foam board through the laminator and it melted and ate the handle. Luckily, we managed to recover it fairly unscathed.

 

The next project was started as a way to organize Abha’s meds in-take, as she has a handful of pills and mouthwashes to take multiple times throughout the day as part of her radiation and chemotherapy treatment. I used a large piece of card stock to create a chart with the times, medicine, dosage and notes for Abha’s daily medications. An hour every line starting at 8AM going all the way down to 7AM as the last line.

medchart        medchart2

I used paint pens and stickers to write with, and a sharpie and ruler to draw lines. After I let it dry out, I put it through the scanner, saved it on the desktop and printed a month’s supply of black and white copies. I hole-punched these and threw them in a binder I labeled, “Abha’s Medicine Binder.”

laminate

I laminated the original copy, put some craft magnets on the back, and stuck a piece of Velcro at the top with a fine-tipped dry-erase marker attached to the other side. With a space cleared on the fridge, I stuck the crafts up there and called it a day.

fridge

1/15/2013 UPDATE** – The system works well! Everyone is able to write down any appointments/notes about how Abha feels (ex. nausea, dizziness, pain, etc.) on the fridge as they happen, stay on top of the medications she needs to take every day at certain times and easily keep track of the pain medication schedule. At the beginning of the next day, I transcribe the fridge notes onto a copy in the binder and keep them in chronological order. It’s been much easier to keep track of for sure!

The Eye Of The Storm

7 Jan

Hi friends! It’s late Sunday night and I’m coming to you from the comforts of bed. Today was largely uneventful for everyone, which was actually incredibly pleasant. I spent most of the day snoozing, lounging in bed and doing an occasional chore around my house. Abha did the same thing at their house and Mark scuttered about doing various chores and hanging around the house. Last night was especially rough on Abha, although I’m not sure she was lucid enough to realize/remember it. We, along with the doctors, are still figuring out the balance of painkillers to anti-nasuea to “dailies” to anti-anxiety pills and yesterday proved we haven’t got it down quite yet. Yesterday evening she was super dopey and kept getting out of bed and wandering around asking the cat why he had so many pockets and telling the dogs she would pop their balloons. It was humorous but verged on scary as she was so out of it she was totally in her own world and dozed in and out of sleep/consciousness for hours. I went back to my house later that night but my dad said it continued through the night and at one point or another, while still dopey, she was feeling short of breath and uncomfortable. So, back to my original point -Today felt like the eye of the storm, calm and seemingly still, with a lucid Abha living in the same reality as the rest of us.

So that’s the update on the family and the Big C. Now, onto today’s Pinspired creation! Decided to go with food again because *here’s a teaser for tomorrow project* Hobby Lobby is closed on Sundays. Dinner, to be more precise. What’s on the menu you ask? Meat spaghetti pulled from this pin, garlic knots discovered on this pin, and my own personal spinach salad. As per usual, I adjusted the recipes slightly to our liking and everything turned out pretty bomb-diggity! OH – it is important to note that I halved the spaghetti recipe and it still yielded a ridiculous amount of food!

ssauce

Fire-roasted tomato and red pepper meat spaghetti:

1 lb (roughly) ground beef *at least 85% lean!

1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil

1 onion chopped (about 1 1/2 cups)

1 red pepper, coarsely chopped

5 cloves garlic, pressed through garlic press – yum!

1 8 oz. can tomato paste/puree

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano

1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil

3/4 teaspoon dried thyme

1 14 oz. can Italian-style diced tomatoes

1 28 oz. can crushed fire-roasted tomatoes

1/2 carton fresh mushrooms

1 tablespoon brown sugar

2 bay leaves

1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar

ingredients

DIRECTIONS:

Chop all of your veggies and press your garlic first and just leave them on the cutting board for when you are ready to use them.

veggies

veg2

Go ahead and put the chopped red pepper along with half of the chopped onions in the food processor and blend until smooth.

foodproc

Heat olive oil over medium  high heat. Add the rest of the onions and saute until translucent and slightly browned. Add garlic and stir constantly for 1 minute. Break up beef and add to pan, cook until no red is showing. Drain most of the grease from the beef. Add the red pepper/onion puree to the beef mixture and stir until combined. Add the tomato paste, salt, pepper and all of the spices, stir until combined and cook for a minute or two. Add both cans of diced and crushed tomatoes, the brown sugar and mushrooms and stir until everything is combined. Add the bay leaves, bring sauce to a boil and then reduce to low and simmer with a lid for one hour, stirring occasionally. Fifteen minutes before serving, stir in the balsamic vinegar.

ssaauucee

Ta da!

Now, onto the garlic knots. I looked at a couple of different recipes and ended up doing this:

garlic1

1 tube Pillsbury Grand buttermilk flaky biscuits (8 count) – although next time I may not use the flaky kind.

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

3 cloves garlic, pressed through garlic press

1 teaspoon italian seasoning

1 tablespoon butter

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Add the garlic and italian seasoning to the olive oil and stir until blended. Break up the biscuits and roll them into 12-inch tubes. I put a little bit of the oil mixture on my hands to keep the dough from sticking and keep it easy to work with. Tie the tubes into a knot and tuck the ends under. Place the knots on a greased cooking pan about 2 inches apart. Spoon oil mixture over the knots and use a brush to spread over entire knot. Bake for about 10 – 12 minutes. Melt butter in small dish and brush over knots directly after pulling them out of the oven.

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Spinach Salad:

salad

2 handfulls fresh washed organic baby spinach

2 small tomatoes (fresh from the garden)

1 slice from a white onion, quartered

1 avocado, sliced

1/2 cucumber, peeled and sliced

as much fresh grated parmesan on top as you’d like!

DIRECTIONS:

Add all of the ingredients together, toss, and add dressing of your choice! I use raspberry vinaigrette and think it pairs nicely with everything in the salad.

So, here you have our recreation of the Pinterest-inspired dinner we had tonight. And the critics agree, it was delicious! And better still – we have so much left over, it will make a quick easy-to-make meal for future lunch and dinners.

greatfood

I’ll be in touch tomorrow, friends! Goodnight.

Cookie success!

6 Jan

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It couldn’t get any simpler or easier than a chocolate chip cookie. We’re starting slow remember? So I found a pin with some tips and hints for making the perfect chocolate chip cookie. I pulled the recipe from the post and we started our recreation. We modified it slightly, using butter-Cristco instead of butter and double-strength vanilla extract instead of regular extract, eyeing the chocolate chips, and adding a tad more baking soda than the recipe called for.

Keely and Abha’s Delicious Chocolate Chip Cookies:

2 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 tsp. salt

1 1/4 tsp. baking soda

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup dark brown sugar

1 cup butter-flavored Cristco

2 large eggs

1 tsp (double strength) vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups (ish) chocolate chips

1 cup (ish) chopped pecans

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Combine and stir flour, salt and baking soda in small bowl and set aside. In mixing bowl, combine Cristco, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract. Beat until smooth. (This is awesome when you have a Kitchen-aid mixer as my parents do!) Scramble the eggs in a separate bowl. Add the eggs to the sugar and butter mixture one at a time. Slowly add the flour mixture and make sure to mix it well! Add the chocolate chips (and pecans if you want).

cookie dough

I read somewhere that putting the cookie dough in the fridge right before it goes in the oven will make your cookies fluffier, so I tried it and it works. Although I’m not sure that’s exactly why they were so fluffy, but I’ll do it again next time I make these cookies!

cookiedough2

Put small spoonfuls of cookie dough on a cookie sheet about 2-3 inches apart and bake for 7-10 minutes depending on how done/underdone you prefer your cookies!

cookiedough3

Voila! The perfect chocolate chip cookie.

Seeping in…

5 Jan

Hello friends! Dropping in to post an update. It’s Saturday afternoon and my fingers fly furiously as I type away, while everything else lay still and the house rests quietly. I am coming to you from the couch in the main house (my parent’s place). Mark is in the man-cave reading a book or polishing a gun or buying shit on Amazon or doing whatever. Abha is out cold in the bedroom, surrounded by sleeping dogs and a snoring Siamese. It never ceases to warm my heart when I see animals concerned for their ailing masters. This morning we all went to Abha’s radiation appointment. It seems that the treatments take it out of her, so we loaded her up on her daily medications (or “dailies” as she has lovingly nicknamed them) and set her up in bed for what we hope is a long and restful nap.

That being said, I have some time to update my blog. And you guys. I’m starting to understand there is no normalcy when it comes to dealing with Cancer. Just as it consumes your body, it consumes your entire life. You need to go to work? Sorry, you have to go to six hours of chemo today and three hours tomorrow. There will be 20 rounds of radiation, but you only know when your next two will be. You will need to go back in for new scans sometime next week. It’s hectic and busy and feels never-ending. I feel wrong for saying the word “lucky” but I guess we were lucky that my mom wasn’t working at the time we discovered her illness. However, the rest of us were. So, my dad is going back to work on Monday and I’ll be taking over as caretaker and house mouse since I’m a recently retired bartender. This weekend will be spent organizing medications, creating charts, practicing procedures and preparing for my take-over.

Thus far, everything has been seeping into my brain so slowly… and a lot of the time it still feels unreal. I have a feeling Monday is going to be like a kick to the chest by a mule. I am struggling to fully grasp what’s happening here and still haven’t decided how exactly to process this news and how to cope with it. Do I research it to death and scare the shit out of myself? Do I remain ignorant beyond my immediate requirements to be a caregiver? Do I prepare for the worst? Do I refuse to consider the worst? I have yet to even entertain the idea that she may not survive this and I think it is the best way to deal with this disease. I have to believe, our family has to believe, that she will beat this and come out on the other side stronger and better. Positivity breeds positive things. Being part of this cancer thing first hand, I realize there is no room for negativity. It is hopeless energy. Wasted and lost. This is not to say I want to parade around with balloons hooting and hollering – I definitely let myself feel sad and feel the hurt of this disease, but I don’t want to let that sadness overcome and spread beyond me and seep into others.

One thought I keep going back to when I need to giggle or laugh is my mom’s stylish new tattoo. If you know my mom, you know she absolutely despises tattoos and all things related. She can’t stand any of my tattoos and totally disproves of me getting any more. So, when I heard she had to get little x’s permanently tattooed on her back to line her up during radiation, I literally laughed and laughed. Its little things like this that you have to enjoy when you’re dealing with a shitstorm like cancer.

Ok – enough of the introspective, sullen ramblings. Abha is awake and feeling better! Good vibes! This sunny Saturday calls for our first Pinspiration project. We’ve decided to start off with training wheels, and go for something simple like baking. I’ll leave you with Bill, chewing on a piece of the fence – little darling that he is.

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