Tinder Loving Care – A Female’s Perspective

26 Sep

tinder crazy

I’ve done my research, gone on a few Tinder dates, met some pretty normal people, but have decided I’m over it and have since deleted this app. So -here are my parting words about the ever-popular Tinder application:

 

First, let’s clear up what Tinder is not:

1. A legit dating site/application – For the most part, you’re matching someone based on whether you might like to get naked with that person, or at least make out and dry hump. You can say it’s because you have a whopping seven interests in common (including “sleeping” and maybe one obscure band you both enjoy) – but the reality is that you probably didn’t even scroll through all of their pictures or even check your common interests before you right swiped.


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2. A real social networking site – Sure you can instant message your matches, see what common interests you’ve both listed on your Facebook profile, and view a couple of the photos they’ve chosen to represent themselves (and never trust a profile with only one picture), but that’s pretty much the extent of “social networking” on Tinder.

Now, what Tinder really is:

1. A shallow and pretty superficial hook-up app – You probably aren’t going to find “the one” on Tinder, but you might get a good lay out of it. Although, for the record, I haven’t slept with anyone I’ve met from Tinder.

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2. If you are a female, a Tinder meet-up is a pretty good bet for free drinks – and probably dinner if you play your cards right.

3. A sure-fire way to cure a case of boredom. That repetitive swiping motion gets kind of addictive after a while.

4. A way to meet some attractive people around your age that live in your city.

 

 

The Rules of Tinder:

1. If you are 40+, get the fuck off Tinder. Please?

2. DO NOT post every picture as a selfie-duck-face-bathroom-mirror-pic. Nobody thinks that shit is cute after high school.

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3. Don’t drink and Tinder… or should you only drink and Tinder?

4. Don’t trust the chest-up pictures. They are hiding something. And not only are they hiding something, they are insecure about it too. If you’re 100 pounds overweight or have an amputated right foot – own it, don’t crop it.

5. Whoever you’re going out with, don’t forget – they’re chatting, meeting, and probably hooking up with lots of other people – maybe even some you know. Don’t get butt hurt if it doesn’t work out or they don’t like you. There are plenty of other (Tinder) fish in the sea.

kstewreally

 

 

Those awkward Tinder moments… and how to deal with them:

1. When you come across the profile of an ex, an ex’s best friend, a best friend’s ex, a best friend’s current boyfriend or girlfriend, or the most fun – YOUR current boyfriend or girlfriend (and probably soon to be ex).

  • Just swipe left and keep your mouth shut. I know the urge to right-swipe seems irresistible, even if just out of curiosity if they suck enough to match you, but just don’t do it. Nothing good is going to come of it. Unless you enjoy stupid drama.

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UNLESS

  • It’s YOUR girlfriend or boyfriend. Right Swipe. And screenshot that shit first. Gotcha, Bitch! That’s going to make for an interesting (and probably last) dinner conversation later.

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2. The match with someone you knew from high school that you right-swiped because you know who they are and are curious if they remember you – and then they don’t.

  • Right swipe if you want, but don’t get upset if they don’t match you or if they do and don’t remember you. Maybe you have a better memory than most… Or maybe you just weren’t as popular as you thought you were in high school.

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— Either way – it’s been 10 years since high school, nobody cares.

3. When you and your best friend match the same guy. Especially when you and your bestie are in each other’s profile pictures?

  • Block him. Both of you.

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OR

  • If he’s a chiseled god with great hair, has a boat, and a couple pictures with his dog… Rock, paper, scissors or flip a coin.

4. If you’re in your 20s, and the city you live in is also your hometown, like it is for me – prepare for lots of the above mentioned awkward Tinder moments.

 

 

So, what’s the Tinder Takeaway? It’s a great app if you’re single, or newly single, bored, want some attention, want to go out for dinner and/or drinks, and maybe have some casual sex.

But, as my best friend and I sat around on the couch talking about life the other day, we came to the conclusion that if you just put your fucking phone down for 5 minutes – you’d be surprised at the people you meet in real life, the beauty of the world around you, and the things you get done that you wouldn’t while your face is glued to the screen of your stupid fucking smartphone.

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Better Than Nothing

15 Sep

“What happens to the girl, what happens to the boy?
I see the red lights moving
What happens to the boy, will he be destroyed?
Is this winning or losing?
But I feel, feel
But I feel something, oh it’s better than nothing”

Better Than Nothing – Sarah Jaffe

Six Months Later…

15 Sep

After a shamefully long hiatus from the blogosphere world, I am back! I debated the best approach to this – fill in the gap with all the highlights and noteworthy happenings or take the lazy-TV-show-approach and skip forward a few years (or months in this case) and pick up right here? I’ll go for the combo.

So, here I sit – on a steamy September day, college football in the background, typing away. My, how life has happened lately… funny how that works. The past year has been fraught with life lessons, challenging obstacles, heartache, heartbreak, and plenty of perseverance. However, I feel the hope rising and the joy creeping back in.

I am now convinced that I have experienced my quarter-life crisis a year early (or maybe I won’t make it quite to 100 – although 96 sounds alright to me) and am finally coming out on the other side. On the cusp of 25, I feel a renewed sense of purpose and an inspiring optimism.

When I was a fresh-faced college freshman at the ripe age of 17, I thought by 25 I would have life figured out. Obviously I would be marrying my Prince Charming (or at least be engaged to him), be killing it in the corporate world and excelling in my career, have a rocking body, perfectly Pinterested home, organic garden in my backyard, and an awesome dog. Well, nearly eight years later, here I am – a few months shy of 25, and the only thing my 17-year-old brain predicted correctly was the awesome dog (btw – thanks for being so cool, Loki).

So that’s not where I’m at right now – but you know what? I’m totally okay with it. Part of growing up is facing unrealistic expectations, dealing with them, and coming out stronger on the other side. That’s why disappointment hurts, rejection is a bitch, and breakups suck. Thank god I didn’t settle for that jerk that treated me badly. And I probably saved myself from some embarrassment by gaining experience through internships the past couple years instead of trying to throw 22-year-old Keely into a professional entry level position.

But now i’m ready. To say cacao to unpaid internships and douchebag boyfriends. To toxic friendships. To shady people. To not feeling good enough or pretty enough or smart enough.

So this is the story of my journey. Into the world. Into myself. A 20-something-year-old post graduate independent lady figuring out the ins and outs of life. The first item on my never-ending checklist: Stop with the unpaid internships and find an entry level position in my (or hopefully a related) field. Easier said than done? I’ll let you know.

Until next time – xoxo

cacao

Grannyism #74: Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

21 Feb

Hello friends! I’m feeling inspired (and slightly guilty about my lack of blog activity) so I figure it’s time for a long overdue update. I’ve got lots of news to share, but want to preface it with wise words from the cap of my tea today:

grannyism

Although this is easier said than done sometimes, especially for me.

In line with this theme, I am focusing on being more relaxed and not letting people, situations and circumstances get the best of me. I know if I  achieve that goal, I will be a much happier and healthier person. I’m taking baby steps for now, like not letting Austin’s rush-hour traffic ruin my morning or not getting caught up in trivial gossip among friends. My hope is that practicing this kind of thinking will lead me to dealing with bigger-picture things in my life with the same maturity and finesse.

So, onto the bigger-picture things happening in my life – the most important being my mother’s fight against cancer. I’m excited to share that Abha graduated from radiation, hoorah! After 21 back-to-back radiation sessions, Abha was showered with confetti and sent on her way with high hopes from the team.

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Abha was re-scanned after completion of radiation treatment and the doctors shared the results with our family. One of the tumors being treated with radiation (on her thoracic spine) was GONE, completely!! The other large tumor near her lumbar is still in tact, but it has shrunk and will hopefully continue to shrink. Overall, her scans show the masses decreasing in size and the doctors continue to praise Abha as a “star patient” and are hopeful that her future chemotherapy treatments will continue to destroy the lymphoma. Hip Hip Hooray!

As Abha’s health improves, I have been able to pursue things in my personal life a little more. I’m happy to share more good news: Today I was offered an internship as a copywriter for a relocation company called UrbanBound. I am beyond excited! Although I’ll still have to work in the service industry in the meantime, I feel like I am on my way to a solid career in writing and PR. Gotta pay the bills though, right? And in true GIRLS fashion, the first project I’m working on for my new internship is an eBook that will serve as somewhat of a guide to Austin for employees that are relocated here for work. I won’t be working at Grumpy’s Cafe any time soon, or at any coffee shop really, but it looks like I’ll be joining the employee ranks of Austin Country Club to put food on the table and keep the lights on.

So those are the current happenings in my life and I will leave you with a picture of the fur-babies in honor of national pet appreciation day. I am so thankful for the amazing day I had today and look forward to a just as bright tomorrow! Cheers friends.

kitties             doodle

“I think that I may be the voice of my generation…”

1 Feb

“…or at least a voice. of a generation.”

I’m sorry, I can’t stop quoting HBO’s GIRLS. I am just so tickled by half of the lines in the script I can’t help but regurgitate them on a regular basis. Anyway, I know I’m probably not the voice of my generation, but I did come across something the other day on South Congress that was so positive, inspiring and hopeful, yet so basic.

inspiresign

A hand-crafted flyer taped on the handrail along South Congress that read “LOVE (take as much as you need) STR8 :)” with a line of tear-away slips of paper that read “Love.” So simple and unassuming, yet bold and powerful nonetheless. A hand-written sign and a voice all the same.

I was so touched by this small act of kindness! It really did lift the spirits of myself and my lunch company. I figured that since Libby and I took some love that afternoon on SOCO, I could take 10 minutes and make my own “Love” flyer to put up somewhere around town and spread some love and positivity to unsuspecting passerbys. Who knows, maybe my love could brighten someone else’s day like it did mine.

lovegreen  signs

I made a few, and stored them in my car for when I stumbled upon the perfect spot to spread some love. I met my good friend Sarah at Austin High to run the loop on Tuesday and decided this would be as good a place as any. I found a handrail near the Mopac bridge and taped my own love flyer for joggers, bikers, dog walkers, friends, lovers, moms and dads, kids and everyone in between to enjoy.

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“All Adventurous Women Do…”

31 Jan

Have HPV? Alright, that might be a bit of an overstatement Hannah Horvath. But live life, take chances? That seems more reasonable. I spent my weekend in the wonderful world of GIRLS, laughing and crying right alongside Hannah and the other GIRLS, drinking wine with friends to face life’s hardships and snuggling with my wonderful pets to feel that unconditional love we all crave (except Marnie of course).

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So GIRLS – I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve heard about or seen this show because it is a testament to my life right now, and all of the other 20-something-year-olds trying to figure out what the fuck to do next. I find my life unsurprisingly paralleling Hannah’s – an only child, post-graduate yet to begin a career, trying to get comfortable in her own skin, forming new relationships, closing doors and opening others. I love it! On the occasional evening that I’m feeling down about where my life is at, I crawl into bed, queue up an episode of GIRLS and let Hannah Horvath’s awkwardness overshadow my own and laugh all my insecurities away.

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That being said, I am actually very content with where my life is at right now. Despite the roller coaster that is Cancer, things seem to be moving in a more positive direction. I’m on a new health kick that involves improving my diet, cutting back on booze, getting out for a run a few times a week and a new obsession with BSY Power Yoga.

And even Cancer seems to be cutting us some slack now. We are coming up on the weekend and with it the end of radiation and chemotherapy. After weeks of treatments and appointments I am very pleased to report that her doctors consider Abha to be a “star patient” and are very happy with her progress. In fact, I am coming to you courtesy of the Infusion Room at Texas Oncology Center. We are on day two of Abha’s second Chemotherapy treatment and everything is going smoothly. I’ve been told so many tales of nausea, fever, vomiting and general horror concerning Chemo treatments that I was quite nervous about how Abha would react. We were surprised (quite pleasantly) that she tolerated the drugs with hardly any side effects, save for extreme fatigue. Even better, today is a short treatment so we should get to head home by early afternoon.

So here’s an interesting factoid I didn’t know before we started the fight against Cancer – every treatment is different for every patient. I know this sounds very “Duh!” but ignorance is bliss, right? Don’t judge me for lack of common sense, but I just assumed that all chemotherapy involved the same drugs, but with different dosage, frequency of treatment, etc. However, I have come to find that the drugs themselves also vary from person to person, and I had kind of an “A ha!” moment. So after the recent introduction to cancer and subsequent bumpy road, it feels good for everyone in the family (Abha especially) to get even a small break.

Although this will probably just sound like medical jargon (it still does to me too) but in case anyone is wondering what drugs Abha receives for her chemo treatments, on the first day she receives both Rituximab and Bendamustine (this combo treatment takes anywhere from 6 – 7 hours) and on the second day, she receives just Bendamustine (usually takes between 2 – 3 hours). To break it down – the Rituximab is used to treat diseases characterized by excessive, overactive or dysfunctional B-cells (see lymphomas) and the Bendamustine is an alkylating agent used to treat indolent-B-cell-non-Hodgkins lymphoma (thus the type of cancer Abha has). Anyway – this chemotherapy flew by and we’re heading home by noon. So to wrap it up, I’ll leave you with Abha, always the best sport about everything – chillin’ in the infusion room.

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Arts and Crafts Tuesday! (Jan. 8, 2013)

14 Jan

Wow, I have been slacking. Shamefully so! So here’s a re-cap of the past week. Tuesday, January 8 (Elvis’ birthday btw, thanks years of working at Chuy’s for that useless trivia forever stored in my brain) I dedicated to organizing and simplifying the new day-to-day responsibilities of a family fighting cancer. So seeing as cancer is a complete drag, I figured this was an opportunity to take pleasure in the little things and in this case it was a trip to Hobby Lobby and an afternoon of crafting.

The most important things on the agenda were improving the system for documenting Abha’s meds and treatment related notes and creating a way to track her daily liquid intake. So after a few clicks around my favorite website, Pinterest, I found an idea for a medicine chart that inspired me into creating a “care binder” and a to-do list I modified to be a liquid-intake… tracker? That’s a working title.

crafts    craft2

Hobby Lobby was fraught with bright colors, glitter and shine, arts and crafts, semi-useless gadgets and lots of tacky decor… Heaven? Close enough.

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Lee made a guest appearance and joined me on my crafty splurge and as per usual, we enjoyed our surroundings thoroughly.

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So after that eventful shopping trip, I went home to spend the afternoon drawing, cutting, gluing, laminating, hole-punching, etc. The first project was a cutesy water pitcher magnet with individual water glass magnets that Velcro to the pitcher as well as stick to the fridge. I used a foam board and drew a water pitcher that I cut out and outlined with a Sharpie. I stuck a few craft magnets on the back and eight Velcro-stratchy pieces (of the two kinds) on the front of the pitcher. Then, I cut out eight identical water-glasses on blue card stock and also outlined those with a Sharpie and wrote “8 oz.” on the front. I laminated these and stuck the other side of the Velcro piece on the back of each glass, along with a small craft magnet. Ta – Da! What a cute and easy way for everyone to keep track of Abha’s daily liquid intake.

liquid

The docs recommend she drink 64 oz. of “acceptable” liquids (no caffeine – sodas, tea, coffee, etc.) every day. It’s hard enough for me to keep track of what I’ve been drinking all day, let alone what someone else has been drinking. That being said, I didn’t want to leave it to Abha, who sometimes exists in a dopey stupor for periods of the day. Speaking of, we had a good laugh while constructing this when Abha put the foam board through the laminator and it melted and ate the handle. Luckily, we managed to recover it fairly unscathed.

 

The next project was started as a way to organize Abha’s meds in-take, as she has a handful of pills and mouthwashes to take multiple times throughout the day as part of her radiation and chemotherapy treatment. I used a large piece of card stock to create a chart with the times, medicine, dosage and notes for Abha’s daily medications. An hour every line starting at 8AM going all the way down to 7AM as the last line.

medchart        medchart2

I used paint pens and stickers to write with, and a sharpie and ruler to draw lines. After I let it dry out, I put it through the scanner, saved it on the desktop and printed a month’s supply of black and white copies. I hole-punched these and threw them in a binder I labeled, “Abha’s Medicine Binder.”

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I laminated the original copy, put some craft magnets on the back, and stuck a piece of Velcro at the top with a fine-tipped dry-erase marker attached to the other side. With a space cleared on the fridge, I stuck the crafts up there and called it a day.

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1/15/2013 UPDATE** – The system works well! Everyone is able to write down any appointments/notes about how Abha feels (ex. nausea, dizziness, pain, etc.) on the fridge as they happen, stay on top of the medications she needs to take every day at certain times and easily keep track of the pain medication schedule. At the beginning of the next day, I transcribe the fridge notes onto a copy in the binder and keep them in chronological order. It’s been much easier to keep track of for sure!

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